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...is not contained anywhere near this post. I am enjoying the process, but my pleasure at turns of phrase and hitting the right level of verbose idiocy is not what I anticipated. And there is an easy answer why. I'm much better responding to an existing thought or discussion, popping in with the requisite asshattery. Reactionary, not initiating. But no fear, I'll simply try and get better. Also I've been much too serious.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. - Twain
Well, piss on that. It's better to go down in flames, trailing debris and dignity, than it is to be smug and serious. Now I can be different...like everybody else.
Back in high school, a few friends and I used to try and think of the worst possible thing to say in any situation. We rarely had the stones to say them, but the formulation of such a perfectly rude, crude, and belligerent response was almost an artform. I don't remember any of our results, and I doubt they were that funny - teenage boys have their humor meter stuck at dipshit for a few years. But it's still an art form I pursue, even if usually only in my head. It has served me quite well in the verbally cutthroat world of the educated and bitter. Try being stuck in a tin can for 6 months underwater with some mean-spirited and angry young men. No women to soften the blows or force good behavior. Unlike other military branches, we have all the smart, caustic ones, sharpened to a fine edge. It thickens the skin and quickens the mind.
In other news, I tend to make a farting sound when I am the last person on an elevator, and the doors are just closing between me and the last few riders who exited. It's stupid and juvenile, but I derive a "no harm, no foul" pleasure from it. It's like the honk and wave, taught to me by a good friend. If you honk and wave at a stranger, often you get a puzzled and clueless expression from some maladroit on the street. Then you get a good laugh at their puzzlement. Sometimes they just wave back, and what is meant as cruel sport becomes a friendly passing. No harm, no foul. It's only cruel if you are a tool.
Don't be a tool.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place. - Twain
Well, piss on that. It's better to go down in flames, trailing debris and dignity, than it is to be smug and serious. Now I can be different...like everybody else.
Back in high school, a few friends and I used to try and think of the worst possible thing to say in any situation. We rarely had the stones to say them, but the formulation of such a perfectly rude, crude, and belligerent response was almost an artform. I don't remember any of our results, and I doubt they were that funny - teenage boys have their humor meter stuck at dipshit for a few years. But it's still an art form I pursue, even if usually only in my head. It has served me quite well in the verbally cutthroat world of the educated and bitter. Try being stuck in a tin can for 6 months underwater with some mean-spirited and angry young men. No women to soften the blows or force good behavior. Unlike other military branches, we have all the smart, caustic ones, sharpened to a fine edge. It thickens the skin and quickens the mind.
In other news, I tend to make a farting sound when I am the last person on an elevator, and the doors are just closing between me and the last few riders who exited. It's stupid and juvenile, but I derive a "no harm, no foul" pleasure from it. It's like the honk and wave, taught to me by a good friend. If you honk and wave at a stranger, often you get a puzzled and clueless expression from some maladroit on the street. Then you get a good laugh at their puzzlement. Sometimes they just wave back, and what is meant as cruel sport becomes a friendly passing. No harm, no foul. It's only cruel if you are a tool.
Don't be a tool.
posted by Chuck | 11:22 AM
1 Comments:
My husband does the "honk-n-wave" at cows or other domesticated animals to see if he elicits a response. He considers it a victory if one of the herd looks up momentarily before it goes back to munching grass.
He also likes to roll down the window and shout, "Mooooooo!" and cows that are close to the road.
Riding with him for long periods of time can be an adventure.
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